Given that I´d posted yesterday, you might not have expected me to do so today. Nonetheless, I do curtail the time I spend writing when I get into a downer. Thus, since I am not exactly feeling like that right now, I´ll have a go at posting when under stress. Per contra, had I not been on this state, I wouldn´t have been writing anything whatsoever. Moreover, you might have noticed by now that all the topics I write about do get along. The reason for this, is that I cannot expunge my memories that easily. Hence, the need for me to build my stories on previous experiences.

 

Perhaps I´ll never be able to abate my depression the way I want to. Since the emotional wounds I´ve received have been countless. Even after engaging in several internecine family strifes, do I seek justice. Still and all, what springs to mind right now is getting my life sorted out. Given the fact that only a few friends uphold my beliefs, it makes it even harder for me to bear with the pain. It seems as if nigthmares sneered at me every night nonstop. By no means though do I expect to dumbfound you with false stories.

 

For the time being, do I have to prioritize either picking up my studies or getting around to finding a job. Have I got intermixed ideas about what to do. Can I not dawdle anymore. Neither can I afford to be prevailed on to make even more wrong decisions. Nothing seems to sweep me along anymore. I wouldn´t complain 24/7 about my kin having rubbing me off living my life had it not be true. Sadly, it is. Some might say that I could easily fix my life on the back of my efforts. Nonetheless, my untreated depression has prevented me from doing so. Thus far, I have not even been successful with doctors. Have I heard rumors knocking around that even hypnotism can cure a person who is clinacally depressed. Albeit, such methods have not arrived to Peru yet.

 

To conclude I´d say that I wish I had a good memory to chuckle about right now. Be that as it may, I feel more like hopping on the bandwagon of those suicidal folks who just end it all when hopeless. Granted that it might be mob mentality. However, it makes my head spin how I could possibly mend my situation. Ever since I was able to, have I been fastidious about improving my English. Notwithstanding, have I not accomplished much owing to that. People might still tell me that I can set it right. Not even an epiphany could help me now though.