I was meaning to wake up at 5 this morning. Unfortunately I forgot to set my alarm and woke up at 6. Still and all, there is always tomorrow. I have been feeling depressed on a recurring basis, so I decided to post something positive for a change.

 

Has it been hard lately to get a grip of myself. Even now do I have regrets about not having woken up at 5. That's beside the point though. Let us move on with the topic at hand. Worries about the future have been nagging away at me recently. Not to mention that when I get to see younger people than me who are successful, it really tears me up inside. Not necessarily owing to me being jealous, but due to the realization I get about having wasted so many years of my life.

 

Was I getting revved up at the start of this month due to having gotten a new class to teach. Unfortunately though, it got cancelled. Not only have I had fewer classes to teach, but also a lot more time to think about the past. Have I been told that I spend too much time skirting around and not focusing on the root of my problem.

 

Albeit, it is hard for me to identify which problem I exactly have. Not to mention that with all the matters I have to attend to, I lose focus about how to solve my problems. Some thorny issues still lie ahead ready to challenge me. Hence, do I have to be cautious and progress little by little. First things first. For now, I have to focus on my health. Anyway, I wish my parents had hassled me to study more when I was a child. Perhaps that way I wouldn't have ended up the way I have now.