Still am I procrastinating. Not to mention that am running out of ideas on what to talk about. Anyhow, it seems to me that it takes me longer to write a decision than I had expected.  Doubts have clouded my mind so much that I seem incapable to confront my problems now. Anyhow, today I went over to another Christian church that was holding a conversation session on space. At least I had a good time there. Moreover, I could finally meet one of the guys whom I had been messaging through Facebook for a while now and had not got the chance to talk to in person yet.

Irrespective of  all the time I let go by, did I get to experience what it is to be part of a social environment that suits me best. For instance, today I leaned words such as ¨terraform¨ which means to make a planet other than the Earth more suitable so as to sustain life. Even though I could enjoy myself a little thus far, can I not forget the fact that I keep disappointing my teachers and friends at school even more. Still and all, as I have said before, the fact that I have been quite sensitive lately has made me the perfect target for some assholes with an unsparing attitude whom do not realize they can hurt a person considerably bad if they act with disregard.

Do I seem to string my issues out more than necessary. However, is it hard me to change. I swear I wish I were a totally different person. Even so, as they say ¨dreaming away stuff does not make it happen¨. Moreover, every time I go overboard with a new project, nothing seems to work out. Perhaps I should switch over to a different mindset. Notwithstanding, for some reason I tend to overthink even that. Indeed my insecurities have hamstrung myself from accomplishing a myriad of goals. Despite the fact that i fight against it, my efforts are so little so as to pay off. To be honest, the only thing I can thank my lucky stars for is the fact that I am still alive. You see, I myself have lowered my self-regard to the point of the extreme. I wish my instincts were to shepherd me to the right direction in life. Be that as it may, it is going to take a lot more to make me improve my social skills.

Trying to keep a stiff upper lip during a situation that you cannot snap out of seems utterly challenging. Boy had I not been receptive before I realized I was wasting my existence away. Nonetheless, will I try to finally unburden myself to the dean or anyone who can help me out. Do I have to be straight-forward about my intentions once and for all. Further, have I been told that I do not need a rundown on how to behave. Nevertheless, it seems as if the more I put off my issues the worst I feel. If only I were more stout-hearted, I would probably had gotten these worries off my chest already. Will I ever learn?. It is up to me to decide. Perhaps I need somebody else´s spunk to rub off on me.

Creed - With Arms Wide Open

It has indeed been a while since the last time I wrote something down. Anyhow, I actually am glad that finally did I get to join a Christian church. Irrespective of what my kin may think about it. I was meaning to join for years so as to learn as much as I could not only about that religion but also about many others. Taking the first step for me has actually been amazing. I am planning on learning as much as I can about religious topics. Besides, do I still have to discipline myself in order to accomplish anything meaningful. Nonetheless, I still am hesitant about whether or not to drop out of school. To be honest, I have drag things out so much that it would be a burden to even try to set things right. Irrespective of the fact that it would take me a while to orient myself in a new studying environment, I am willing to start over. Not to mention, that a fresh start would also help me to overcome my negativeness. In fact, there are many reasons why I should consider quiting. For starters, I have been meaning to partake in a more English speaking oriented environment for a long time. In seems as though, I do not feel motivated about school as I did before. Nonetheless, it is always hard to move from one environment to the other. Am I indeed knocked for six when I think back at all the idiotic mistakes I have made recently. Even so, I know they have been made out of anxiety and not straight thinking. Moreover, even though I have got a lot of support from my friends in class, some inconveniences arose anyway. Such as the fact that at least one of the teachers has been a little hostile towards myself. Be that as it may, I was sick even before that so I would not blame her even though I know her behaviour was disrespectful. Now that I can think about things deeply though, I realize that perhaps I was not meant to be a teacher. There are lots of things I yet have not learn and by remaining in one single place is going to be utterly hard to accomplish my desires. Anyhow, could I keep droning on about my issues. Notwithstanding, I have to get a move on, regardless of the fact that I actually have hit rock  bottom. Further, just as if a mail man were to circulate several letters to the neighborhood, rumours can be spread as fast. Perhaps some may think that to me it would be a terrible idea to leave college. Still and all, I believe that I have to follow my gut, which is telling me that I have to make up for the time I lost when I was talked out of joining a religious organization. Ergo, now that I have got the chance to do so, will I surround myself with the topic as much as I can. Moreover, there is something that tells me that I need a new experience to transfigure my aimless existence. As longs as I act with prudence from here on in. Anyhow, I must take a leave of you all. Will I keep you posted on what I come up with in the foreseeable future.

How to say NO! Communication skills that work

All of recent actions beg the question as to what I am going to do with my life if actually drop out of school. Nonetheless, as I have been told before, I would not be the end of the world if did. By the way, I finally got to go that church I was meaning to attend for years and took as much advantage of it as I could. After all, I feel kind of guilty that I had been absenting myself from school on account of depression. Be that as it may, have I begged off lots of responsibilities I had concur to do. Thus, redeeming myself is not going to be easy. I know I may have promised myself to follow through with my program when I first started out. Even so, I had no idea any of this would have had happened. Not to mention that I could not actually rely on my instincts to pull me through each time I would need to do anything difficult owing to the fact that I had been cloistered by my folks almost my entire life. Ergo, to it is harder than to average person to interact with people on a regular basis. To be honest, this morning I felt relieved after I lastly made it to the church. Ever since I was nineteen I had been thinking on going. Be that as it may, either my brother or my mom would discourage me.  Enough about my excuses though. I am an adult now, and hope to be more responsible from now on. Despite the fact that I thought many times that my popularity waned a lot. My friends let me know that actually they supported me no matter what. Still and all, have I been so blind so as not to seeing the good intention they all had towards me. My English indeed got rusty. Nonetheless, it did not happen due to the fact that I am bad at it, but for I stopped practicing. However way I think about the aforesaid statement, it is indeed true that I was actually sloppy in my duties. Although, I have to accept that I was in fact sick and that I could not think straight. Irrespective of the fact that I may have assignments or test due at ant time in the present, I just do not show the same enthusiasm I used to show before. What is more, I think I should be more straightforward with people and tell them how I really feel. Irrespective of what their reactions might be, my health is more important than them.  Did I not want to see my reality and herein lies the crux of my problems. Apart from that I know that perhaps in past I may have subdue myself to let my officious kin boss me around. Still and all, what they did not know that they were making me miss out on a lot of new chances. Bringing up the rear, I would say that people can in fact enjoin you to do whatever they want. Notwithstanding, at the end of the day your life is the one that is going to end up screwed and not theirs. Therefore learning to say no at an early age would have made me a better person. Anyhow, thinking about the past will only keep embittering myself. Hence, I must man up and show up at school to explain my situation and make up my mind regardless of how shameful I may feel. Never think about the loss of face you could fall into due depression as something negative. Remember that sometimes you are not yourself when you get down in the dumps.

Can People Change? DECIDE Who You Want To Be Right Now

I cannot change the past as much as I would like it to happen. Nonetheless, I still can make decisions that will switch my life around for a change. Not exactly do I have to make a bucket list, even though I feel as if I might perish sooner than I thought. Besides, I know that upcoming problems can be forestalled by starting to take action. Be that as it may, my confidence is something I am trying to regain. Irrespective of the fact that my options have tapered off, I still think I can at least try to keep my cool and stop assaying my situation. Despite the fact that it will not be easy for me to feel better with myself after all of the mistakes I have made, I still can find some internal peace by trying to commune with nature and pray a little. In the face of the fear I may be feeling right now, I must carry on and make up my mind on the spot. Moreover, I cannot let my fears detract me from the joy I can get out of doing the things I like the most. Perhaps I have always had the inalienable right to decide my own future. Still and all, I have always let others boss me around. Ergo, it is time for me to decide what is best. Otherwise, it may be too late tomorrow. Not to mention that I have procrastinated enough already. You see, have I been dilatory in deciding to do things such as applying for jobs or whatnot on account of my shyness. However, it is time to snap out of my folly behaviour and do something. Further, I do not think I will be able to be haughty enough so as to disdain others anymore. May my mind be overrun by negative thoughts now. Be that as it may, I have had enough of it.  Furthermore, I should not keep pulling back from doing things that would benefit me out of fear for the rest of my life. In so far as I know, it will not be enough to remain abeyant. I must proceed with my life regardless of what I have done thus far. Everyone tried to drag me out of the brink of depression. Even so, I did not listen. Anyway, not to be in suspense for  me is something that is actually not normal. Thus, the need for me to do something meaningful once and for all. In my dreams I could indeed suspend disbelief. However. in reality, I must deal with the mess I have caused. My matchless skill to do things wrong can only go so far. Bringing up the rear, I would say that tomorrow I will find out whether or not I will end up being an apostate or not by attending the church I had been longing to visit for years. It is going to be a good way to leave doubts behind. What is more, I may finally be able to get those feelings of curiosity off my chest.