I am thankful to God for giving me one more day of life. Nonetheless, after what I experienced, am I still a little bit worried. A friend told me earlier that I should cry out to God for help. The problem is that I don´t know how to.  Even though I deviated from my routine, I have a reason for doing so. I felt down and did not know how to snap out of it. I mean I wish I could rewire my mind and start behaving the way I want to. Still and all, it is not possible. Doctors may have been able to fix up my body. My mind though, is something that I cannot get a grip of. We know for a fact that common sense marries health. We also know that one we can rid ourselves of our bad habits. At the end of the day though, life is not as easy as it seems to be.

Anyhow, there are many things I still need to straighten out. Such as my health and education. Before my hunger for knowledge would dominate my life. However, now I don´t know what makes me tick anymore. I constantly have to bring myself to doing things I don´t like doing. For one thing life goes on too fast; and for another doing things is what keeps us alive. Not to mention, that one of the things that could help me a lot would be to wash my hands of the past. Be that as it may, I find the latter extremely hard to accomplish. Do I believe that due to my social anxiety, I find myself being cold-shoulder by people on a daily basis. I tend to spend time sulking, only if I know the person that is. To be honest, I think my own insecurity brings myself down to my knees. Although, there must be a way for me to work up courage to overcome my fears.

Have I realized I cannot go through life expecting some sort adventitious miracle happen. What is more, I think that planning can make the difference. Besides, milking drama will only bring myself down. Not only should I be receptive to ideas, but also observant of what is going on around me. By the way, have I noticed I should also inject some humor into this blog. Albeit, since I have been through a rough time recently I cannot think of anything positive to say. Would I just like to add that I do not exactly miss the beat when it comes to social situations. Nonetheless, I can effectively deal with situations that require you to be more patient than usual.

In review, I would say that yet there are many things I have left undone. Being a natural procrastinator does not help much. Will I try to draw a veil over the past and move on. Despite the fact that as I have said many times, I believe to be unlucky enough to learn things untimely. After what I have live through thus far, I do not think I will be able to jump off the page of my career of interest. Albeit, I think that at least I deserve to have a decent life as much as any other folk. May I feel like a ship at the point of sinking right now. Truth be told, I thought, that getting the job I had applied to while at the same time studying to become a teacher would have been the ¨cherry¨ my pie needed. Even so, things did not turn out my way. Time draws on and I need to find a new activity so as to detoxify my mind of bad thoughts.