Should I hold myself to account for the recent developments regarding me not getting better?

Is it hard to pin down the cause of my problem though. Almost anything that doesn't go right can set me down into depression. Hence, making my condition pretty delicate. Not to mention that the only thing tranquilizers do at this point is making me oversleep. At this point however, am I not going to draw your rapt attention at all. Being mollycoddled by my kin has not been the issue, but controlling my every move has. Will I  ever be able to recoup the time lost? Do I doubt it. Nonetheless, being objectionable towards my folks does not help a bit either.

 

Moving into my constant past thoughts, is it also hard for me to block them out. Thinking too much about them leads to overkill. Hence, by delaying my treatment have I put myself in an hazardous situation. Nonetheless, most of the doctors I saw in the past were not really interested in helping out. It seems as if they were categorizing their patients according to whom was going to pay them the most.

Might a modicum of luck raise my spirits. Still and all, my illness has advanced so much I see little to no hope. Even though some of my recent crisis have been brought on by my lack of tolerance; do I still think a few more pills were not gonna do the trick.

 

Am I also put out at some people promising things they were not going to fulfil.  Albeit, I tend to mix and match my emotions and daily activities quite often. In view of the aforesaid, I would say that it would be unlikely for me to free my memory of all that's been happening. Am I at the end of my patience trying to feel better. Has hatred only eaten away at me and ultimately made it impossible for me to regain my composure. Let alone saying that I am at loose ends and with nothing to do. Only a few ideas have drifted in so as to make me feel better.

 

In review, do I feel as if an arrow had been shot into my heart.  Somehow, nonetheless, it is impossible for me to die. How does this aforesaid statement tie in with what I said earlier. Well, it pretty much is the precis of it all. Can I not pass myself off as a dead person. Consequently, for that to be a reality, I would have to make a horrible decision. Since, my unthinking relatives never put enough effort into helping. It does seem reasonable for me to end this suffering. Would I have not budgeted myself had I know I was going to end up like this. Too bad. I have already been suspended from Wonderland. Am I not deterred by what will happened, but by what did not.