It is been a while since the last time I jotted down some words. It has been a nightmare to be honest. The few people have I talked to tend to tell me that I monopolize the conversations I am involved in. Not that I want to warm people down but I do really think I need help. Nonetheless, most of the psychologist I have seen have shown utter disregard regarding my problem. It is totally inhumane how nowadays doctors in Lima are extremely disrespectful so as to even talk on the phone while seeing their patients.The fact that I have never been forceful has let them take advantage of me. However, now I am trying to change. I definitely feel out of place in most social situations taking place in Peru. Not that I am racist or anything. Be that as it may, people here are used to being too insensitive that it makes me sick to my stomach. I have heard of many suicide cases from teenagers whom did not have a chance to be heard. To be quite honest if push comes to show for many of those children´s lives, nobody cares. It pains me a lot. Many people suffer deeply and nobody gives a darn so as to help them. In my case for instance, there was a nasty teacher that was abusing her authority. I I regret the fact that I never spoke out though. Thus, I started  feeling worse and worse. What I am trying to say is that we have to be bold enough to say what we think out loud every time we see injustices going on. Not to mention, that  there is no point in sickening yourself by swallowing insults and criticism. What is more, there more you assert yourself, the more people respect you. Not only do I need to stop persecuting myself for personal growth, but also to need to get a grip on myself. A friend of mine has been making enquiries so as to get me a good doctor. Given the fact that I have not been lucky enough to get a good doctor. A wise person once told me that if I want to effect change in your life you have to work hard on what it is you want to accomplish. Anyhow, when the situation gets clearer, I would like to go to my school and sort out my papers once and for all. I do want to have an education. Owing to the fact that I do want to find my niche some time in the future. Still and all, I still have to be able to hold down a job. For that to happen though, I am going to have to be able to be of sound mind. I hope get happy enough so that I can light off some fireworks in Christmas. Besides, I do have a reason for building my hopes up and idealize my fantasies. Most the values we grow up with are being debased by the selfishness our own. By no means, can we adopt attitudes that prejuduce our neighbours in an exagerated way. Even evil has its limits. The say that one eats an elephan one bite at a time. Perhaps I need more patience and networking with people who can help me. I will not dispute that life is easy whatsoever. Even so, if parents do not support their children in their vocation, the might end up as the boy from the movie ¨The dead poets society¨