Fellowship, something I never partook in until recently. You see, due to my family's overbearing control, I myself grew up to be a negative and withdrawn young adult. No matter how many times I would rake them over the coals, there is nothing I can do so as to rewind my life. Nonetheless, there is a saying that says: "If Mohamed won't go to the mountain, the mountain must come to Mohamed"

Hence, the need for me at that time to realize that I had to hold my ground and oppose my sibling and parents abusive demands. Be that as it may, it did not happen. Hence, my health aggravated little by little. Is it indeed essential, to spent quality time with people who share your beliefs.

 

I wish I could quit hitting my head against the wall, and stop raking over the past. However, no matter how many times I've tried to start over, either my mom or my brother would prevent me from doing so. Still and all, as I said before, I am done boring the heck out of you. I must say though, that if I had a nickel for every time they've given me an order, I'd be rich by now. Still and all, now that I am a late bloomer Christian, how can I muster up the strength so as to go on?. Is it hard to reconcile my desire to keep learning with my willingness to get healed.

 

Irrespective of how much it might irritate me, how many vicissitudes I've had to go through due to my kin's insane involvement in my life,  there is no way I can't change the past. By the way, there is another saying that comes to mind: "If you can't run with the big dogs, you'd better stay on the porch". That aforesaid phrase mirrors how I feel every time I see someone who is ahead of me and I want to keep up with them. Thus, do I have to make up the time so as to learn all the things I have yet to discover. Since, I regard timing as the root of my problems, will I have to squeeze a lot of lessons into a short time.

 

Still, how could I lay out the groundwork so as to get into gear and find the right path?. There is no single answer for that. Even so, should I start by grovelling to God for forgiveness, due to all the hatred I've been harbouring for years. Let alone all the time I've wasted doing so. Ergo, must I keep a cool head from now on and start setting up the essentials for success. For now, I think they should be to schedule my tasks and retool my life. I'd be thunderstruck at what I can end up attaining if I set my mind to it.