Yesterday I was about to quit school. Though the dean didn´t show up. After many family discord, I´ve decided to let things flow for a while. Pushing aside my fears and moving on is the best I can do now. For now, I cannot drape my arm around anybody's shoulder. The sole feeling of thinking about the future makes me shudder. How much would I wish there was a being with such a puissance that could grant me any wish a wanted. Unfortunately, my ingrained common sense tells me there is not. All my thoughts are clumped together. Instead of agglutinating only the bad ones, I should also consider the good ones. If there´s still some positivism left in me. Some need to be knocked  down to size, I need the opposite. Besides, I´d wimped out of doing  that would have save my life a while ago.

One of the reasons I got worse is cause I had been bottling up my emotions. I may not have a eidetic memory. Though, this one memory ain´t like a sieve either. In fact, I do remember lots of things. Even though the fact that I got run over overshadowed my depression, it is still there. At this point, I don't know if being urged on will do me any better. Still do I reel from the shock of what would happen if I end myself.  Back as a kid a dreamed about being affluent. Now, I can't even think of being alive one more day. Lastly, I´d say that sometimes, it is good to trust your deep-rooted beliefs.