I cannot explain why I am so secretive, nor can I explain why I undervalue myself too much at times. What I now is that I dragged out my depression for so long that I was letting myself be consumed by it. Undergoing depression may not be easy. Nonetheless, if you slack off like I did, it gets worse. I used to rise to almost any challenge before. Now though it seems as if  I am not the same. Of course it has cost me dear to make so many mistakes lately. Besides showing up at college, I have to attend to my lessons. Because of my recent irresponsible acts my future now hangs in the balance. The progression of my learning may have been retarded. Be that as it may, I still believe I can balance it out with my willingness to learn. Perhaps my constant complaints have strained everyone´s patience. Not to  mentioned that I have sundered my own reputation. Though, still do I have some hope that I will redeem myself.  Everyone Knows my achilles´ heels are my indecisiveness and sloppiness. Notwithstanding, I intend to overcome these two. Before, my curiosity was the only thing that prompted me to research and constantly study. Now that I am not doing it anymore, I feel that I have to recover my confidence. To illustrate the aforesaid point: If I were to cost out all my posts right now, I would not have rated them very high; whereas in the past, I know I would have. By the way, by now you know I tend to use circumlocution. Well that has a lot to do with my personality. Anyhow, have I played truant quite enough already. As hard as it may it to me to recognize it, my behavior has regressed dramatically. It is up to me whether or not I change back to the way I was before. Was I able to read through a slew of novels without even blinking not long ago. Despite the fact that I have swept aside my friends´ advice, I hope I can let relief finally surge through me after I decide rightly once in for all. That is pretty much it for now. I do not want to wind up deriding my whole blog as a bunch of melodramatic stories.