I may have been economical with the truth when I said I was trying to get better. In fact, apart from complaining, I was not doing much. Should I trace my insecurity to its roots? Well, I just want to control it. To be honest, I was so repentant about the stupidities I had been doing recently that I tried to contact an angel in my dreams. You see, back when I was 9, I was about to go to movies with my mom. However, while we were on the way, I dropped my jacket.  When we finally got to the bus, I started crying. Five minutes after the accident though, an elegant man in his car  began waving at us. I saw him from the bus and immediately got the jacket he threw at me. Did I staged a comeback in my positiveness after that happened. However, now that I have been stunting my own progress, I do not see him around. To me he was an angel indeed, am I not trying to package lies as facts. Anyhow, last night I was trying to contact him in my dreams. Notwithstanding, I got disappointed when I didn´t reach him. His sole presence would forward my  bad mood. Maybe, I have to face the fact that perhaps our mind plays tricks with us. Even though that experience summons up memories from my childhood, perhaps it was just a good guy who helped and not an angel. Nonetheless, I do not know how he could get my jacket and reach the bus in five minutes. Cherishing pleasant memories such as that one is healthy. Notwithstanding, what I had been doing was to ponder over my worst mistakes. That alone was making me sick. It is poppycock to think the just by dreaming away stuff one will make it happen. Do I realize I had been a balky folk all along. Instead of behaving such a restive young man, I was feeling sorry for myself. Untoward events happen all the time. Even so,  making them happen is a sin. Lastly, I would say that I should start nourishing my talents once again. Apart from teaching, I am good at singing. That is another string to the bow, right? If I were to apply myself, I could even sing for a living in the future. Rather than adding fuel to the fire by acting out of impulse, I should concentrate on my day to day activities. Despite the fact that this has been the worst vacation of my life, do I know that I caused disquiet to myself. At least I can say I learn something out of it.