Am I starting to have second thoughts about what I did. I mean the guys care about me at school and all. Nonetheless, I started out the semester having a negative attitude. You see, have I disappointed even more the people who gave me second chances. Not to mention that besides joining a charge, have I not done anything meaningful in these past few weeks. Besides, I need to either find a job or something along those lines if I want to keep my mind busy. Notwithstanding, things have not exactly changed as much as I would have wanted them to. There is an expression called ¨analysis paralisis¨, which basically means to procrastinate by pondering too much over an issue and not take action. Ergo, I feel that I have fallen into that bad habit due to overthinking things. What is more, even though I have not killed myself, have I cut myself off in my prime regarding school. Perhaps I see that way because to school was everything. Still and all, when I started slacking off I started losing respect from both my peers and teachers. Moreover, even if I wanted to launch out on my own I would need loads of cash, which I do not have. Thus, I am between a rock and a hard place now. Nevertheless, I would relate to the idiom ¨if the cap fits wear it¨, due to having been making silly mistakes quite often lately. I mean, a process of catching up at this point would be nearly impossible. You see, have flunk most of my courses. Be that as it may, many tell me that even at this point I still could make some progress. Have I reach a point of no return?. I believe I indeed have. However, have I not idea what to do now. Even though I have not officially quit. did my friends made me a farewell party. Ergo, am I indeed in two minds whether or not to attend school tomorrow. Irrespective of how many absences I have, perhaps a medical certificate would suffice. I do not even conceive that my situation could be likened to any other. My dreams  of distilling my posts on this blog into a book may never come true if I do not complete my program. Even so, I do not know whether or not it will cause me overstress. Not that I consider myself a lazy person overall. Albeit, I have been one during the past month. Hence, to reverse that situation I would have to exert myself a lot more. Of course it would in fact serve me to go over to my school and face up to my responsibilities. Had I woken up to reality before, none of this would have been happening. Therefore, now have I reached a breaking point in life. I have applied into my wrong philosophy the expression ¨anything for an easy life[ thus far to avoid discussions with my kin. This has happened mostly ever since I left high school. Either my brother or my mom would boss me around and I wound up doing things I did not want to do in the first place. Such as for instance getting into the wrong college right after I left school, among others. Although, now I supposedly have taken up the reins of my life, none of the things I did especially when I was depressed seems to have help me clear my mind. Then again, it would seem puerile to think that when you feel down you can actually behave properly.