I`m living to fight another day. Thus, trying to haul myself out of bed each time. I`m done being a knocker. Besides, I've got unbalanced cause of all the suffering I`ve gone through. I only focused on one activity and therein lies the reason for my failure. It`s not a good idea to pull all your eggs in one basket. It`s hard not to throw in the towel when you`ve undergone such depression. Besides, I would be able to curb my temper if I were more sociable. Living in frenetic way may not have solved all my problems, though it`d have kept me busy. I may have a deft command of English now, though I can`t use it all the time. I realize now my brother wanted me to be submissive. I`ve also noticed my reasoning was unbalanced. If I was penniless, any job would have suffice. Then again, English is my passion. However my family did not have enough cash to provide a better education for me. Anger surged though me after failing so many times to reach my goals. Moreover, ideas may diverge and converge, though something my brother never understood was that you gotta live and let live. I`ve been raked over the coals for not having acted on stupid advice. Several times have I had to embroider the facts of the stories I told my friends to cover up for my insecurities. Having a plan that covers all the bases is crucial after leaving high school. Though, parental control fucks it up. Many times have I thought on getting my own back on my kin. Though, I realized I was hurting myself with those lurid thoughts.
If you wanna breast the top, you gotta be strong. Having family inquests on my own mistakes has only made me waste time. Depression is something that can kill you. For instance, your muscles get flaccid from luck of food. Furthermore, I`m the kind of person who needs nudge to move on. Something I regret is keeping my own counsel. It`s beside the point how long it takes to recover. As long as I have hope. I just need a friend to crouch down beside. After having been  a mama`s boy against my will, I`m fed up now. My mom thought that snuggling up to me was gonna make me stronger. Out of all the strands of my ideas, going back to Canada seems best.  I remember now every time I was forced to do something stupid, I sputtered with indignation afterwards. What I should have done is simply say ¨¨no¨¨. On the other hand, I`d like to have a shirt with the word ¨¨don`t give up¨ affixed to it. Anyhow, being able to construct a logical essay under this strain is not easy. I hope tears won`t streak my face anymore. I`ll have to strike out negative thoughts from my mind. Reminiscing about the past, I recall that back in Canada I was aching for home. I gotta remind myself that in the race of life surging  past others runners ain`t easy. My last verdict is that you gotta love your kin to have good fortune. If god were to return a verdict of me after I die, It`d be of not guilty. There`s been an upsurge of mounting tension in my family. By analogy, if I wanna be like a company that returns lots of profit, I`ll have to assert myself. Finally, I`d counsel myself not to waste any more time. Besides, relying on a counsel of despair doesn`t seem right. Hopefully, some day in the future, a friend  of mine will nudge me and whisper ¨Look what you`ve achieved¨. Anyhow, I`ll go for a walk and  I`ll make sure I don`t wear anything clunky.





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