Lately, I`ve had horrible nightmares. I think I`m losing it. My social anxiety has gotten to the point of making me sick. Feelings of guilt for making the wrong decisions sear me. What I have is not a simple foible. So far, I`ve watched hundreds of motivational videos, gone to therapy once or twice. Moreover, I paraded myself as somebody who could sustain suffering and still carry on. To some extent, it was true. Though, I`ve gotten to the point in which I cannot take it anymore. While I was growing up, I always tried to fit in. It`s not I wasn`t ostracized either. Notwithstanding, I was switched from one school to another until I settled at one for three years.  I did not even played hooky once.  Besides, over the past few years I`ve been improving my English skills. Nonetheless, I barely worked on curing this mental state. After having fought down my tears for so long, I`ve broken down on a few occasions.  The lack of a parental image in my teenage years really affected me. Despite this, I have always been a squeamish fellow. Perhaps, there is incontrovertible proof to assume that I haven`t tried hard enough to overcome my situation. As well, something that is also true is the fact that I have been a shallow fellow my entire life. Always trying to look spiffy and neat. How can this be possible? An extremely shy person who is kind of arrogant?. Anyhow, also I realized that fighting out my past conflicts with my family now is pointless. What is done is done. Thus, no chiller would frighten me more than the fear of failure. No matter how many times I snuggle down my bedclothes, and dream stuff away. I have to face reality. Lastly, I`d say that raking over the past will only make me sicker. Ergo, not only will I need to live with it, but also I will try to accept it.