Really, I am the one who cause this trouble to myself.  Besides, just like one steers clear of dangerous places, it is important to avoid harsh and hasty decisions.  My unwillingness to cure myself has impeded my healing mental process. Moreover, It perturbs me that I made such stupid mistakes. Furthermore, it is true that I`ve been trifled with by most people. Though, that`s cause I`ve let them. Thus, my problems seem insurmountable. Besides, grumbling about your vicissitudes is one thing. However, acting on them is different. Nothing can alter the way I feel. To say that I am depressed is an understatement.  All my negative thoughts agitate me now on top. Every time I watch a group of giggling guys bundling to their college, I wonder: Why can`t I be like them?. Thinking back, it never occurred to me I was gonna regret bundling up my clothes and moving with my dad after such a short time. To my kin my expression has always been inscrutable. Pleading family problems for my lack of motivation is reasonable. Though, being contrite all the time hurts me a lot. Steering myself out of this depression is impossible. I just hope I can find peace after I die. Never did I take advantage of the opportunities I came across. Maybe there will be a personnel department in heaven in which I can finally will be able to find my dream job.