Dream - Motivational Video

2015 is around the corner. Do I have regrets? Many. I have realized though, that I am never going to start living if I focus on them though. The second I decided to take a step and change my life; not only did I gain momentum. I also began having outstanding experiences and meeting wonderful people. Could I never had accomplished those short-term goals, had I not changed my mindset. Depression can take its toll on you if you do not learn how to control it. Moreover, I have also acknowledged the fact that it is completely pointless not to do something you want just because someone else told you not to do it. Irrespective of the fact that asking for advice is important sometimes, it is ultimately you who makes the decision. Ergo, oftentimes it is not that relevant to ponder over doing something or enquire about it. Sometimes, it is necessary for you to do things without asking for permission. Anyhow, I still have a long way to go down the road and so do you. Why don´t we help each other?. I will start out by working out a new plan on how to be happy. You can help by giving some feedback in the future. Truth be told, some of my posts may have irked many people I know. Nonetheless, most of the ones I have written have had a totally different impact on the people who started reading them. Even though I had been keeping this blog as a secret when I first started out, I learned afterwards that it was meaningless not to share my thoughts with others. Thus, I decided to make it public to every single person who finds the time to follow it. Perhaps the main reason this blog was created in the first place was so that I could have one more way to emote. Notwithstanding, that change along the way. Also, there is a need not to compartmentalize your life that strictly. You see, there has to be a balance not only between work and leisure, but also between what you keep to yourself and what you tell others. Hence, the importance to for you to balance them out as best as you can. Any other recommendations on how to be more open-minded this forthcoming year. There is a few ways I have thought of. For instance, you will be amazed at what you can accomplish by doing some of these things while in public: Look up and position yourself in a more approachable manner during social gatherings. Try as much as you can to be less inarticulate and narrow-minded when speaking to others. Lastly, I would say the the key to surrounding yourself with remarkable people is by looking for like-minded individuals at first. Then, will it certainly be much easier to bond with these new folks you meet. Bonus information? Well I have always heard it always works out better if you act less narcissistic during first dates. Still, there are lots of more ways to tackle your reservations. Anyway, just as one conversation or piece of advice can dissolve your kept-back anger in a matter of minutes, I hope this post has accomplished to motivate the same way. Therefore, I encourage you to stop prepping for doing things and begin tipping your toe in something that gets you going. By the way, the idea for this post sprang from a video a watched before writing down this stuff. Are you still trying to find your bearings in life? Guess what? So am I...

TEDxCapeTown: Alison Lewis - Be Bold And Mighty Forces Will Come To Your...

Some results seem to be up in the air. Today after many dramas a pointless visits to therapists, I got accepted to a training program in an English language center. Still and all, I must apply after I am done with the course. One more reason not to keep carping on about the past. Sometimes, there is no way to bypass the rules. May I have got sidetracked on countless occasions regarding moving on. Nonetheless, it is up to me whether or not I want to grab a pair and start looking for a job once and for all. My worst enemy is myself. Any sort of job I find at this point is going to help me out a lot. Not only because it is going to help me get experience, but else due to the fact that the money I earn will make me more independent. To find someone who imparts  even-handed justice when it comes to hiring is hard these days. There always some sort of benefits one candidate might have over other when it comes to big companies. Unless of course there is honest supervision ahead of hand. I mean, have I finally realized that by being uncooperative with the people who have tried to help I have been hurting myself. It is irrelevant whether or not I did not learn something before that I am learning now. I mean after many years of ruminating over the past, have I understood that people are not actually meant to learn anything at a certain point of their lives. Even though it is more beneficial to learn a second language for instance, when one is as young as possible. Nonetheless, it is not of earth- shaking importance not to pick up certain things until later on in life. Still and all, I have become so obsessed with English that even a tiny little expression I learn at a later point of my learning process makes me mad. What is more, do I lastly have to stop putting on the drama queen show. The only way in which I am going to get the results I am expecting is by working hard and being bold. Irrespective of the fact that I still may be a budding writer, do I know my stuff. Not that I could teach any subject matter there is with one hand tied behind my back. Neither do any of the assholes whom have annoyed the heck out of me and call themselves teachers. Despite the fact that I have got my rarely experienced mood swings sorted out, do I still have to work on my self-confidence. I may not be as bright as buttons when it comes to take advice. Notwithstanding, I am regarding learning things. I mean if I luckily get to die of old age after all, I want to be lauded for my courage on my epitaph. Instead of having a last message of me saying that I had been an effing coward, throughout my entire life. By not being conflictive and looking at the bright side of things, you get to learn that holding grudges against people is completely unreasonable. Then again, there are people of different hues. Howbeit, unless the reasons for hating someone are really extreme, there is always a chance of forgiving. Sincere and everlasting care should never be discredited. Lastly, I would say that using this blog as an outlet so as to share my talents may not be as useful anymore.

Don't Die Trying to Make it—Finding Your Way Home...The Life We Are Mean...

I had a nice Christmas eve. Here in Peru we tend to celebrate Christmas the night before it. Anyhow, I have been trying to blank out all my former bad experiences. However, it has not been that easy. I mean it literary has been really hard for me to make decisions throughout my entire life at my discretion. As I have said many times, my kin´s opinion has won out over mine on countless occasions. Thus, the need for me to find a way out of their control. It seems as if the had been bent on making life harsh for me no matter what. I mean, I feel rudderless at this point of my life. I cannot find a purpose to keep trying whatsoever.

The crucial decision student make right after they finish high school is life-threatening here. Nonetheless, after I graduated myself, I never had the chance to take a hiatus so as to ponder over what to do next. Instead, I was forced to get into a shitty college which was so expensive that it did not even make sense for me to be there in the first place. Not only was this school not all it was cracked up to be, but it also was one at did not intend to attend. I mean the whole point of me going to college for a year before immigrating to Canada seemed pointless. My English would have never been good enough so as to handle it on my own in a Canadian school with an intermediate level.

What I reckon would have been a wiser recommendation from my only sibling was to ask me to keep improving my English. Anyway, as much as I wish I were as bumptious as my aforesaid brother is in order to be heard by others, it is not my nature. Notwithstanding, as I have been told several times: ¨The record has got stuck¨. I tend to complain all the time and am regarded as an overly negative person. Still and all, I have been brought back down to earth by my friends´ advice. In all fairness though, had any of the people who know me outside my relatives been through what I have, they would have gone berserk too. Thus, of course it does agitate me when people do not get why I behave the way I do sometimes.

Not to mention that as a consequence of my own failures, I tend to be envious of other people´s success. I mean, it would make perfect sense if my own defeats in life had taken place entirely due to my own actions. Howbeit, it did not happen that way. The only one chance I have got to hatch any of my ideas is the one I had to create this blog. Besides that, I have never been given a shot. Not to mention that I could in fact count on the fingers of one hand the times I have not been rejected by an employer for instance. This world is so full of malevolent individual who feed on the suffering of others. Be that as it may, there are also those who cast their bread upon the waters. Unfortunately, I have only run into a few of them. Nonetheless, those guys are the ones who keep me alive. Ergo, this would be the right moment to bring up one quote a wise person once said No road is long with good company. Had I not been told so many tall tales by my mom about real life, I would have developed way more friendships. Even so, I have been shaken up by seasoned thinkers. Perhaps later than sooner, but I have nonetheless.

How to Move On and Find Closure

Today it was a really productive day. I woke up early as I had not done in a long time. I went over to have breakfast with my brother at his hotel, not to mention that I really had a great time with some friends from school I had not seen in a while. Besides all that, I have been bugging my friend David asking him English words all day long. By the way I heard this quote that says as follows: ¨It is easy to sow discord, but more difficult to sow kindness¨. That really struck me. Do I tend to complain too much about my life and not lift a finger so as to change anything sometimes. Further, as I have said countless times I have always used this blog so as to disclose my innermost feelings. However, it has until this date been extremely hard for me to express myself to people. Still and all, can I say that I have made a little improvement recently. What is more, a wise man told me that it takes all sorts to make a world. In fact, I am starting to realize how much I was losing out by not trying to accept the way I was and move on. Not that I want to oversimplify my problems now. Notwithstanding, still do I think I have mentioned them way too many times. Consequently, I wanted to talk about more interesting things. Insubstantial matters are not worth bringing up sometimes. Could I say that I have been trying not to throw my brothers´ help back in his face. Due to the fact that I have done that in the past, I am not willing to make the same error. Not only do I worry people who care about me by leaving them hanging, but I also get to the point of disappointing them. Besides, I cannot keep sloughing off my responsibilities any longer. Ergo, do I have to sort things out once and for all. Must I learn to put the past behind me and carry on. Have I been told a million times there is no rewind button in life. This is the time in which I have to make a mental note and start over from scratch. Perhaps by hashing plans out with a friend can I start having better results. It is just pointless to hang on to bad memories. Thus, the need for me to man up and incorporate a goal in my to-do list. Anyway, not do I have to turn into an effusive individual, but I seriously have to prioritize working on my self-regard before it is too late. I mean one thing is to be polite towards others. Nonetheless, another totally different is not to know how to disarm people who hurt you without being foolish. Finally, I would like to quote what I recently posted on my Facebook account: ¨Courtesy and courage are not mutually exclussive¨

How to Deal w/ Guilt & Shame, Psychology w/ John Breeding, Psychetruth v...

I had a lovely day, besides having been ill on Wednesday. To be honest, I did not think I was going to recover from my depression. Nonetheless, I have found new hope thanks to the new friendships I have made. The only thing I have left to do now is to keep practicing my English as much as I can, apart from praying and exalting the lord that is. Even though I have been over a barrel on countless occasions especially when I was in Canada, I did learn something out them. I know what kind of person I do not want to be from now on. Further, am I trying to reconcile myself to the hardships I must deal with due to my previous mistakes. Notwithstanding, life always gives you second chances. What is more, I do not want my friends´ patience to give out. To be honest, your personal life is not something you bandy about in front of strangers. That is why as I said before, I use this blog as a platform to vent my issues. However, I also try to give out advice whenever I can. Since my family has never been broad-minded with me; I try to make it up for my lack of validation and express my opinions here. Many a time have I tried to get better after doing unreasonable things. Unfortunately, most of the doctors I have seen have screwed money out of me. Only a few close friends have shown deep concern regarding my situation. Be that as it may, I do not want to draw them all into this. Further, the priority for me now is to try vanquish my fears and keep on with my treatment. I cannot be a wet blanket for the rest of my life. Moreover, I would not want to interpolate some random phrase at the end of this post. Ergo, I must speak my mind now. For starters, I should get in the habit of getting up early once again. Secondly, I cannot just let my illness die down, I must get the help I need in order to sort out my health. For now, God is the only one who can remit myself from my sins.  I still may bristle at what my family did to me in the past when I cogitate on it. Even so, I cannot carry on being a negative person who tends to be garrulous about his past errors. Will I be able to rise to the challenge life has set for me. Well, I could start off by avoiding smashing up things every time I get mad. It is up to me whether or not I want my kin keep directing me. By the way, my brother is coming over for Christmas and I must build myself up so as to rehearse what I am going to tell him. I do not want to come across as an asshole after many years of having altercations with him. Anyhow, watch this space. Who knows what I can achieve once I finally am over the hump. It may have been remiss of me not to take action sooner. Howbeit, I am doing it now.

Gary Marcus: It's never too late to learn something new

A good friend told me to he was going to issue me with a challenge. He told me to write about positive things so as to feel better. I does hit me between the eyes when I read a comment or anything I neglected reading in the morning. I start out pondering about the ¨what ifs¨. Anyhow, I also had a row with my dean last night regarding one of her employees. Since I had not complained about her negligent behaviour earlier on, every one thought nothing was wrong at school. Besides, I might add that my classmates did not say a thing cause they feared about their grades.

There are more important things to talk about though. It has indeed hit me between the eyes to see how much time I have been wasting throwing tantrums and complaining about stuff. Do I have to see at the other side of the coin. However it is not that easy after what I have done. I mean I have scared my mom to the point in which she thinks I am going to do something bad to her. Nonetheless, the least  I want to do is that. From now on I am willing to toe the line at everything I commit to do in the future. Not to mention that I must get in line and start working hard on what I want to achieve. When rumours start being bruited about you, thing get a little more difficult than usual. To be honest, all I have care about in the past years has been to enrich my knowledge of English as much as I could.

Unfortunately I have not get as much interaction as I wish I had. However, now  I feel ranged of my former existence. I am not the morning person I used to be. I do not go jogging anymore, among other things. I used to be set in my ways so to speak. Be that as it may, all that change the second I got sick. I mean I am still trying to get ahold of a time machine. Still and all, some friends would have preferred me to hold back on that comment. Moreover, am I trying to defuse my anger for not having checked on my email this morning. There was quite a few interesting info I missed out on for being reckless. Still do I resent having gone berserk last night. Even so, I was sick. Some do not seem to understand that. Irrespective of what I have done thus far, am I still alive and wanting to change. May I have never gotten the cane back when I was a child. However, I did got a lot psychological abuse from my next of kin.

Perhaps I am in fact slipping back as my friend said by focusing on the past. Thus from hereon in, I will do my best so as not to devalue myself and becoming a morning person again. Must I try not to allow doctors palliate my illness, but to cure it. Ergo, If I had to take pills for the rest of my life so be it. Only if I am minded so as to improve my health will achieve so. Lastly I would say that I must find a way in order to make my ideas intersect with each other and find that internal peace I seek.

P.S David, if you have got an anecdote regarding bullying, I´d love to hear it. I am still struck with that topic.

How To Stop Being A Victim - The #1 Reason You Are Stuck In Life

It is been a while since the last time I jotted down some words. It has been a nightmare to be honest. The few people have I talked to tend to tell me that I monopolize the conversations I am involved in. Not that I want to warm people down but I do really think I need help. Nonetheless, most of the psychologist I have seen have shown utter disregard regarding my problem. It is totally inhumane how nowadays doctors in Lima are extremely disrespectful so as to even talk on the phone while seeing their patients.The fact that I have never been forceful has let them take advantage of me. However, now I am trying to change. I definitely feel out of place in most social situations taking place in Peru. Not that I am racist or anything. Be that as it may, people here are used to being too insensitive that it makes me sick to my stomach. I have heard of many suicide cases from teenagers whom did not have a chance to be heard. To be quite honest if push comes to show for many of those children´s lives, nobody cares. It pains me a lot. Many people suffer deeply and nobody gives a darn so as to help them. In my case for instance, there was a nasty teacher that was abusing her authority. I I regret the fact that I never spoke out though. Thus, I started  feeling worse and worse. What I am trying to say is that we have to be bold enough to say what we think out loud every time we see injustices going on. Not to mention, that  there is no point in sickening yourself by swallowing insults and criticism. What is more, there more you assert yourself, the more people respect you. Not only do I need to stop persecuting myself for personal growth, but also to need to get a grip on myself. A friend of mine has been making enquiries so as to get me a good doctor. Given the fact that I have not been lucky enough to get a good doctor. A wise person once told me that if I want to effect change in your life you have to work hard on what it is you want to accomplish. Anyhow, when the situation gets clearer, I would like to go to my school and sort out my papers once and for all. I do want to have an education. Owing to the fact that I do want to find my niche some time in the future. Still and all, I still have to be able to hold down a job. For that to happen though, I am going to have to be able to be of sound mind. I hope get happy enough so that I can light off some fireworks in Christmas. Besides, I do have a reason for building my hopes up and idealize my fantasies. Most the values we grow up with are being debased by the selfishness our own. By no means, can we adopt attitudes that prejuduce our neighbours in an exagerated way. Even evil has its limits. The say that one eats an elephan one bite at a time. Perhaps I need more patience and networking with people who can help me. I will not dispute that life is easy whatsoever. Even so, if parents do not support their children in their vocation, the might end up as the boy from the movie ¨The dead poets society¨

Last night, I had the last rehearsal before I get to sing for the Christmas choir taking place today at the church I am attending now. You see, I kind of had an epiphany on the way home after I got back from the church. Am I starting to realize we all are just people. Thus, there is no need to feel inferior to anybody else. In fact, those who believe to be better than the rest have not certainly being reminded of their previous mistakes. I must add nonetheless, that some wrongly believe that they can manipulate their next of kin only because their mindset conflicts with their own. To be honest, I do take the aforesaid comment personal.  I mean, trying to force someone else to have the same beliefs as you do seems unfair. We live in a society in which families most of the time do not set an appropriate example towards their children. Not to mention that due to technology, nowadays it is a lot harder for new generations to have social interaction. Be that as it may, there are always going to be chances to bond with others. In fact, I for instance feel as I had been deprived of many things during my teenage years. Honestly, sometimes I feel as if the bread had been taken out of my mouth countless times throughout my life. However, there  are many decisions I should have thought through before making. Nonetheless, sometimes emotions take the best out of us. Never will I understand why I oftentimes do the things that I do. Such as for example not to force myself to be more friendly towards the people whom I care about and try to keep in touch with them more often. I guess we all get to have second chances in life though. Lately, I have had the opportunity to meet wonderful people who have given me hope to move on. Have I learned the hard way that twiddling your thumbs while waiting for something to happen does not help you whatsoever. Anyhow, so even though this post has been a little bit shorter than former ones, I will say one more thing before I leave: Remember not to be a dog in the manger. If you happen to have a close one who has a talent you do not possess, do not envy them. Instead, do whatever you can to help them so as to make them better people. Who would not want to have either a daughter or a son who have achieved what perhaps you could accomplish by your own means back when you were their age for instance?

It has been a nice Sunday indeed. Still and all, I yet have to deal with some personal matters. You see, ever since I quit school I exactly have not found a replacement for that activity. I mean, it is true that I am going to a church now besides having gotten a quick training program at an English institute. To be honest, things have picked up. However, I do recognize that I should be more organized from hereon in.

Besides, I have been doing a little bit of research regarding Peter´s book from the bible. Even though I did not get the chance to study the bible thoroughly when I was younger, I am doing it now. Anyhow, so basically I have been meaning to learn a little bit more about this apostle. Thus, the need for me to find out a little more about his life. You see... Peter was one the 12 disciples of Christ. He was in mostly know for having denied Jesus three times before the rooster crowed. Be that as it may, just like everyone else he redeemed himself after a while. His love for Christ was unquestionable. Not to mention that after many years of doing missionary work outside Israel, he got killed after being persecuted.

Although, he did not think of himself worthy enough to die the same way his mentor did. Ergo, he decided to be crucified upside down. In the bible, it is stated that Jesus ordained him so as to be the first pope. ¨The Rock of my Church¨ dialogue in the book of Mathew says so. Remember this: The bible readings are not meant for people who do not want to accept that its teachings are relevant for each person´s every day life. Irrespective of what my next of kin may believe in regards to religion, I am starting to believe that there is in fact a superior being who is taking care of us from up above. Not exactly am I an apologist of Christianity. I am growing into it however.

Lastly, I would say I do not understand how people expect their children to have values if they do not develop them themselves. Albeit, there may be a reason for people to behave the way they do sometimes. The only thing I know is that oftentimes we do not realize that our actions have a lot more relevance that we give to them. I myself confess having let my emotions control me on occasion. I guess most people experience emotional pain at some point of their live though.  By the way I did learn a new word from my friend David: This word is British and is ¨Scatty¨ which is an adjective that means to be forgetful and a bit silly. It is informal though.

How to Deal With Difficult People

It is exactly 04:38 in the morning. I have not actually slept like a log. You see, my worries are so many that I sometimes get lost in thought. What is more, I do not know how many more efforts I have to put out so as to be recognized as a valuable person in the work force. ¨Life is not fair¨- they say. To be honest I agree with that aforesaid statement. Notwithstanding I do recognize having been stubborn when people wanted me not to drop out of school for instance. Still and all, I still got my flare language irrespective of all my mistakes. I do not care for how long I will have to keep trundling the streets looking for a job. Eventually, some good Samaritan will call me. However, I cannot rest on my laurels. I mean it is sad to actually think back to most of the things that have happened to me and see that especially my immediate kin were the ones who actually minded their own business instead of listening to me while still was a child and needed them the most. Notwithstanding, I remember the wise words of this Peruvian poet Cesar Vallejo: ¨There are blows in life so great, I don´t know¨. This world is filled mainly with evil people who do not give a darn about their neighbor´s feelings. Sometimes, I watch with envy how successful individuals saunter by with no preoccupations in their minds whatsoever. What I am trying to say is that I still do not understand is why some are just blessed with prosperity, whereas there are so many people such as myself to whom life has not been mostly fair. My hackles rise when I think about how many evil-doers who have hurt me in the past have gotten away with it without punishment. There are so many people who believe that only because they are not being watched flouting the law, they are going to be able to keep doing it forever. Also, I have realized that it does not matter how much one can fear speaking up against injustice. The worst thing one can do is to allow the wicked get the last laugh. Moreover, it is not that I remain wheeling out the same old excuses in order to justify my bad luck. I mean, regardless of how many more arguments I cite so as to feel less guilty, I do accept that for instance I was not as diligent as I should have been as a child in regards to learning English. Be that is it may, everyone deserves a second chance. Lamentably, I never got mine.

Job Interview Tips - Job Interview Questions and Answers

I am not particularly happy right now, inasmuch as this so called job I had gotten did not turn out to be what I had expected. As much as I would like to reprehend myself for having made yet another mistake, I cannot. May I want my future to sprout. However, there is no way I am going to accomplish that if I do nothing besides writing on this blog. Of course do I need a nine to five job. Be that as it may, am I only going to find it if I keep trying. Despite the fact that negative experiences can indeed curtail your confidence, there is nothing else we have left to do but to move on. One of the most painful things one can do is to burrow into their own past´s bad experiences. Thus, the need to always come up with ways to solving your problems irrespective of your current situation. Be that as it may, I find it hard to start over despite having been passed along quite helpful advice from my closed-ones. How do I expect one day in the foreseeable future to by cherry-picked by a recognized company for an important position among several applicants if I keep eschewing my problems. Perhaps the annoying people who simper at me every time they see me at school might be glad that I am out of their sight for good. Besides, I have to pluck the courage so as to finally get a suitable job for me. There is no time to think about negativity now. May it be hard to remain self-possessed in a hard time. Notwithstanding, it is the best thing to do so as to make better decisions. Regardless of how fearful it might seem to me go up to a worlplace´s counter and ask for a job, I must do it. Have I had enough of being derided by others. If I have to brave a couple of more rejections in order to finally get my ideal job, then so be it. Nonetheless, should start looking as soon as possible. I cannot let anybody else besides the ones who have already done so, keep curtailing my confidence. Maybe now my future does not look rosy. Even so, I will make it look that way. It sure will take me to grope a little more through the darkness towards the right door which will allow me to uncover the light that had been hidden from my sight. As I always say, carping about your issues does not make them go away. Conversely, a lot of hard work and a little hope can turn your life around. Only after I have tried out every possible way to succeed no matter what, will I reap the benefit of my efforts.

Things have gone well this weekend. I did manage to help out a Christmas book sale held by the church I am attending; the more so because I bought some good novels for a very low price. Still and all, can I not dispel that anxiety I yet bear regarding my not so bright start at this Language school I begin working for tomorrow. After many of being dogged by insecurity, can I say that at least nowadays am doing better. Even so, I still have a long way to go. For the time being, the more I go up the ladder, the better I will feel. Perhaps some of the advice I derided as unreasonable was in fact not that way whatsoever. Be that as it may, I was adamant enough so as not to change my mind at all. At this point, having made it to the shortlist of a no so great job does not seem such an accomplishment. Notwithstanding, am I still ravenous for knowledge and cannot turn down the only chance I have got so far to move on. Irrespective of the fact that my folks think I am having a flippant attitude toward my future, I still think I am doing the right thing. Even though it is true that I left school without a plan, things have not turned out that badly. I did muddle through and got a job besides some social groups I started frequenting. The sole reason for attending a college should not be to get a degree, but to learn stuff that you would not normally learn somewhere else. Nonetheless, have I got disappointed at some of my teacher´s performances. Despite the fact that there are quite a few exceptions, having classes that are almost not taught in fact makes students waste a lot of time. Not to mention, that the older you are the worse you feel when not getting advantages of the chances that you run into. Perhaps I have even bemired my own self-regard by swallowing some of these individuals constant criticism. Albeit, am I now working on improving my assertiveness. You see, having confidence in your skills and achievements, among other aspects is the centerpiece for a healthy mental health. Thus, you begin stagnating at whatever goal had been working on the moment  you stop believing in yourself. Anyhow, before I start fumbling for words, I am going to wrap this up. Lastly, let me tell you that I am now poised to take up my upcoming challenge regardless of my current difficulties.

How to Deal With People That Get You Down

Once again I am in a tight spot. I mean, even though I already have a job, it did not turn out to be the way I was expecting it to be. Not to mention that some of my colleagues had began teaching even before the training program finished. I indeed have attended every single session of the training program. However, I just got assigned a single class to finally teach from this forthcoming Monday. Whereas my colleagues are teaching at least two classes. I have no idea why it still is so hard for me to speak up for my rights. Still and all, I can still pluck up the courage to go up and talk to my supervisor to get more chances. In the meantime, I should take advantage of the material I have been given. May I be yet at an incipient stage on this new job. However, had I been informed earlier that there were classes available to teach a few weeks ago, I would already have begun teaching. Aside from remaining poised at this one more tough situation, should I consider working on my negotiation skills once and for all. I mean the bright side might be that at least I got to have some extra training. To be honest, I have no idea when the day in which I luck out is going to be. Nonetheless, I have to learn to defend myself if I expect to one day be able to champion the cause for a better education in my country. Irrespective of how hard it may be for me to hide showing my true colors when I first meet people, I should try to seem more confident at least with my future clients. Be that as it may, I have look for more chances to keep learning and growing as a person as soon as possible. The more I apply what I have learned, the more secure I will become. Of course there are many things I need to work over. Notwithstanding, I must stop overthinking things. May be indignant at how I have been treated by others in the past. Nonetheless, am I going to keep being mistreated until start asserting myself. Wailing over everything does not solve any of your problems. What is more, secluding myself when I feel down is even worse. There is always a need to have a confidant you can talk to. Even though I have had many people who have offered my their friendship many times, have been blind at their offer to help. Lastly, I have no idea what beckons for me regarding my profession. One thing is for sure though. If I keep chickening out from my issues, am I not going to wind up well. Moreover, often times we find ourselves out of sorts  owing to our inability to see what is right in front of us. There is a chasm between the people who start doing things, regardless of how many times they have failed before; and the people who never give themselves a second chance.

4 Reasons to Become a Morning Person & 5 Ways to Do It

Still am I having some trouble to wake up early. Though, at this point I think it has to do more about will power than anything else. Besides, the more I keep cavilling at my past mistakes, the more I realize there is no way to change my past. Notwithstanding it does not mean I cannot work for a better future. It does take unflinching courage to carry on after having experienced hard times. What is more, that kind of ennui that comes from a deep depression can in fact bring anybody down easily. Still and all, one can decide to stop feeling bummed out at their current situation the moment the decide to change it. Irrespective of how much change makes you shudder; it is better to take a step than to regret for the rest of your life that you did not do anything to further your goals. By the way, last night I partook in a conversation regarding education in Peru. This marvellous gentleman whose name I do not recall brought up the following idiom: ¨If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys¨. This basically means that if an employer wants results in their company they have to hire competent staff, which costs a considerable amount of money. Be that as it may, in the third world mostly government do not care whatsoever about having a good education. Thus, the abundance of mediocre teachers in the local system. It is not acceptable to hear that one has to make do with they have. At least in Peru, there is in fact enought budget to hire way more competent educators. Nonetheless, politicians prioritize other matters over education. Moreover, it is common in our society to see the majority of people jeering at someone who has got an a degree or whatnot. There is in fact a need to bolster local citizens´ morale. They say that ignorance is bliss. Notwithstanding, politicians take advantage of people´s lack of knowledge so as to get more votes. If we keep allowing ignorance to be a fundamental factor in our society, even more trouble is brewing up. Ergo, I suggest every individual I know to grub around in their atics for books they have never even looked at before. Trying to weed out the less intelligent people from the ones that are not serves as a way to improve the productivity of an institution. However, it is also necessary to change the mentality of most here. Must we strive to build a better future for our country. May it take not only us but our future generations to toil at accomplishing to have a more educated society. Albeit, it is indeed totally worth it. Lastly I would say that I hope more and more people follow suit of what citizens in developed nations do so as to have a more informed population.

What Makes People Stupid? How To Be Smarter? Psychology Psychetruth Corr...

Provided that I apply myself from hereon in, will I ultimately succeed. Nonetheless, am I always going to have that bitter feeling inside me that tells me I could have done way better. Had my immediate family not interfered with my affairs from the beginning, perhaps I would have had a brighter present. Notwithstanding, as I have been reminded countless times, there is nothing I can do to rewind my life. I am almost in the clear now. However, still do I have sort some things out before I can say I feel totally relieved. Besides, there is something I have noticed I need to change. Can I not feel overawed owing to the fact that I have to compete with some native English speakers in my new job. Irrespective of my past mistakes, have I amassed quite enough knowledge of this language so as to feel confident about it. The only thing I have to do is to start asserting myself. What is more, I have learned the hard way that ultimately there is no way to circumvent your duties. No matter how much we would like to escape from every single issue we have to confront and go live to a utopia. Be that as it may, am I in a buoyant mood right now. By the way, I did neglect to mention that today I started attending a conversation session that allows participants themselves to come up with topics so as to share with the class. You see, this guy Cesar (a lawyer) whom I met at one of the services I had been going put me onto this sessions. In fact, he himself holds this workshop, which seems quite interesting. Moreover, there is no need to lower your level of English in order to offset the lack of knowledge of the clubs members. In fact, every one of its members has a considerably high level of both comprehension and speaking skills. Therefore, could I indeed have the chance to express my opinions fluently without having any sort of setback. Nonetheless, I have to confess that it is permissible for anyone who would like to join in not to be fluent in English. Anyhow, I may not yet be in the mood of capering around my neighborhood. Albeit, have I made some progress under the auspices of selfless and kind-hearted friends. To wrap things up, I would say that there is no point in giving up, regardless of what I could have experienced in the past. Further, am I going to start preparing not only my model class for next Wednesday´s presentation at my new job, but also some handouts to dole out in the following workshop I will be participating in.

"Fight Procrastination" - 3 Little-Known Techniques

Am I going to reach the glass ceiling in the future due to focusing on work for now? Beats me. Besides, not exactly had I become a work-shy individual. Still and all, depression kind of held me back lately. Should I be glad I finally got a job as an ESL teacher. Nonetheless, still are there many things I have left undone. The deadpan expression on my face says it all. Moreover, one thing is for sure: By no means can I abate my resolve at trying to make up for the time lost. What is more, there is no time for slumping spirits. The intricacy of the path to success is indeed prominent. Be that as it may, if I keep on behaving like a needle stuck in a groove bewailing my problems, people are going to start getting bored to death. It is an understatement to say that the task I must complete in the foreseeable future will not have my work cut out. Not to mention that it is in fact hard to get off your tail once you have overcome depression. However, down I may be feeling whenever I talk to a friend, should I allow them to get a word in edgeways. You see, once I start off recounting my melodramas, it is nearly impossible to stop me. Moreover, not only should I focus on talking less about myself, but also on avoiding lax discipline. Notwithstanding, it will not be easy whatsoever. Thus, the need for me to set around finding a solution to all my dilemmas and to jot down on a list all the things that have to be get over with. Further, must I not soft-pedal my situation right now. I do not have that many opportunities left so as to mess up even more of them. Anyhow, of course have I noticed I have used way too many idioms in this writing. Even so, it is still fun to use them. In addition, this is not exactly formal writing. Next time, I would rather someone else made a post in lieu of me. Albeit, I am going to venture an write down one more expression. As annoying as this may sound, I may have such a consistent dinner in after this,  owing to being starving that it sure will put hairs on my chest.

How to cure social anxiety

It is not easy to slough off responsibilities. Nonetheless, when you are going through a rough time it is indeed understandable. However, at this point I am not that concerned about having blemished my reputation but about how much my health is in fact improving. Might some of my decisions in fact have wrecked my plans to finish my program. Still and all, by no means am I willing to avoid dreaming about becoming a teacher. What is more, I should rearrange my plans so as not to make even more mistakes. Irrespective of the fact that I may be pressed for time to solve my problems, should I not stop working on what I like doing the most. Moreover, it is beside the point to think about the fact that some of the reasons for me being in the position I am now is due to my family being extra pushy. Further, the only thing that can stunt my progress from hereon in is my own attitude. By the there is a saying that say as follows: ¨You can knock on a deaf man´s door forever¨: which means that if you have a negative idea stuck in your mind, it is going to be impossible for other people to change it. Also not that I want to go off on a tangent, but I also heard this other expression today: ¨To jump the shark¨ which means to go outmoded. This phrase is mainly regarded to public figures, and movies or TV shows. Albeit, could I say in a sense that my popularity at school has jumped the shark. Anyhow, will I try to stop furrowing my eyebrows at some point in order not to get even more wrinkles than the ones I am going to get as I age. Perhaps what I must do from now on is to grit my teeth and try to juggle different activities throughout the day so as to center myself and focus on the present.

MLM Training | Are You comparing yourself to others? WELL STOP!

Such a wonderful Sunday I had. Truth be told, I had not felt like this in a long time. Still and all, there is quite a few things yet I must accomplish before I can say to myself that I feel happy. Anyhow, I have been called a ¨drama queen¨ by this outstanding gentleman (David) I met about a month ago. Perhaps he is right. I mean, bewailing my sorrows is only going to hold me back even more. Therefore, as I have been told already, I should concentrate on the positive side of things. You see, ever since I joined this church I am attending, things started picking up. Not to mention that I lucked out when I made acquaintance of many well-spoken, trustworthy and gentle people. Besides, there are several other opportunities awaiting for me. To be honest I had not already explored all avenues before I began getting depressed. You become a lame duck the second you stop believing in yourself. Thus, people sense your fear and trample over you. What is more, you  hurt yourself sapping your energy by pondering on the past. As opposed to what happens when you try as hard as you can to  focus on the here and now. Perhaps I should stop having pessimism on the brain. Notwithstanding, it will not be easy to redeem myself and ultimately accomplish what I desire. On my book, my insatiable curiosity has only help me so far. By the way, one of the things that do not help me grow may be the fact that I tend to compare myself to other individuals more successful than I am. Nonetheless, I should try to be the best version of myself as I have been told as well. Moreover, the analogy of fruit you are going to see in the video I will post is axiomatic. Every single person matures at their own rate. The same happens with fruits. Ergo, do I need to stop being an splenetic fool and try to remain calm, empty my mind for some minutes, and look for a way to clear out any difficulty that is causing me trouble now. Anyhow, a bit of elbow grease might get me back on track. Thereby, allowing me to feel better altogether.  Everyone has had enough already regarding me digging in my heels in and refusing to listen to advice. Even so,  is it never to late to turn over a new leaf... Yet I believe that being endued with a great talent would be pointless if it does not get to be discovered.

PS: Did I neglected to mention that I joined the church´s choir. Albeit, I am reacquainting myself with reading music.

Perhaps I have overdone blaming my kin for my failures. May they be guilty of steering me into the wrong direction a couple of times. Nonetheless, it was because what they thought they were doing was the best for me. Even if it was not though, I have gotten back at them by annoying them more times than I can remember. Still and all it pains I am not half the person I wish I were. Had I done the things I planned on doing on the first place, I would not be going through this rough time right now. Even so, as hopeless as my fate might seem, still there is something that keeps me going. Yet there are many challenges I have to confront. As much as I would like to keep procrastinating, I cannot waste one more second. Living in a world whereby I had not been so unlucky thus far. Moreover, could I have been more successful, had I not accepted everything I was told to do. Notwithstanding, am I not done yet. Apart from dialing back my anger, there is a need for me to black out my negative experiences. Irrespective of how many I have had. Anyhow, enough me-talking already. No matter how much you wish you could rewind your life; thinking about the future is not only more realistic, but also more productive. By the way, did I mention I applied to a new job already. It was just about time I did. Do I hope things panned out well. Not to mention that I have crossed my fingers in order to wait for the results. What is more, would I be glad if I were not amongst the applicants who were culled out from the group. A sense of relief flow over me if I were to be given the good news. Just for once I would like to be fortunate enough so as to have my hard work come to fruition and not get frazzled at the outcome. Regardless of what turns out though, must I lock down my schedule and keep looking for chances. Besides, I should be looking for something to rekindle my hopes pronto. Have I always suffered due to the imbalance in the dichotomy between theory and practice I have so far. More theory than practice does not make for a great educator. Lastly, I would say it is time to quieten my mind and think about how I can improve my quality of life once and for all. Ergo, from hereon in, must I seek to redress the balance.

Life Advice, Fixing Social Anxiety, Relationships, & Over Thinking

Someone told me this afternoon that he has an ear for me. Those words really made me feel better. I mean ever since I joined this church, have I met wonderful people who are indeed helping while bearing up. Not to mention that it seems I am going to start working again. It turns out a person from one of the conversation sessions I have been attending works in a language center and was looking for a new teacher. Thus, I might get the job. It seems as though I am back in the game. Nonetheless, still have I not gone to my school so as to do the paperwork to ask for my medical withdrawal. Perhaps lately I may have been using a profligate use of my time. Still and all, never did I stop immersing myself in the English language. Besides, the only thing I needed was something to stir me up help me get back on track. Have I not inkling of what is going to happen in the future. Frankly, I would rather someone else solved my problems. Albeit, I can expect people to assist me only so far. As they say ¨you can take a horse to water but you cannot make it drink¨. Moreover, something in my gut tells me am I doing the right thing for a change. Thus far, I have always felt as a boy stuck in a man´s body. On account of being bossed around by my kin that is. Even so, it is time to change to a higher orbit. The time I spent chewing over what to do has run out.  Life is ephemeral; ergo there is no way I am going to waste one more second pondering about things. What is more, not only do I need to filter my life, but also do I have to change my mindset. Further, oftentimes I do not realize how much potential I have got to accomplish many things. Therefore, I have had enough of downgrading myself. For starters, must I list all the things I want to achieve for the rest of my life. Second of all, do I need to start taking action so as to work my way up the ladder at any job. Hence, there is a need for me to be steadfast in my determination to not giving up. By degrees will achieve things I never imagined I could have. In fact, sometimes, we ourselves are our worse enemies. By cheapening our accomplishments we bring ourselves down.  Ergo, we begin looking at the bright side of every single experience we encounter, as opposed to berating ourselves for our mistakes

Am I starting to have second thoughts about what I did. I mean the guys care about me at school and all. Nonetheless, I started out the semester having a negative attitude. You see, have I disappointed even more the people who gave me second chances. Not to mention that besides joining a charge, have I not done anything meaningful in these past few weeks. Besides, I need to either find a job or something along those lines if I want to keep my mind busy. Notwithstanding, things have not exactly changed as much as I would have wanted them to. There is an expression called ¨analysis paralisis¨, which basically means to procrastinate by pondering too much over an issue and not take action. Ergo, I feel that I have fallen into that bad habit due to overthinking things. What is more, even though I have not killed myself, have I cut myself off in my prime regarding school. Perhaps I see that way because to school was everything. Still and all, when I started slacking off I started losing respect from both my peers and teachers. Moreover, even if I wanted to launch out on my own I would need loads of cash, which I do not have. Thus, I am between a rock and a hard place now. Nevertheless, I would relate to the idiom ¨if the cap fits wear it¨, due to having been making silly mistakes quite often lately. I mean, a process of catching up at this point would be nearly impossible. You see, have flunk most of my courses. Be that as it may, many tell me that even at this point I still could make some progress. Have I reach a point of no return?. I believe I indeed have. However, have I not idea what to do now. Even though I have not officially quit. did my friends made me a farewell party. Ergo, am I indeed in two minds whether or not to attend school tomorrow. Irrespective of how many absences I have, perhaps a medical certificate would suffice. I do not even conceive that my situation could be likened to any other. My dreams  of distilling my posts on this blog into a book may never come true if I do not complete my program. Even so, I do not know whether or not it will cause me overstress. Not that I consider myself a lazy person overall. Albeit, I have been one during the past month. Hence, to reverse that situation I would have to exert myself a lot more. Of course it would in fact serve me to go over to my school and face up to my responsibilities. Had I woken up to reality before, none of this would have been happening. Therefore, now have I reached a breaking point in life. I have applied into my wrong philosophy the expression ¨anything for an easy life[ thus far to avoid discussions with my kin. This has happened mostly ever since I left high school. Either my brother or my mom would boss me around and I wound up doing things I did not want to do in the first place. Such as for instance getting into the wrong college right after I left school, among others. Although, now I supposedly have taken up the reins of my life, none of the things I did especially when I was depressed seems to have help me clear my mind. Then again, it would seem puerile to think that when you feel down you can actually behave properly.

Lately I have been suggesting myself: You can keep feeling sorry for yourself to the point of getting even more down in the dumps; alternatively you can try as hard as you can to overcome your illogically gained inferiority complex. Now that I have decided to step aside from school so as to mull over things at least for a while. Nonetheless, it does not mean I will have time enough to keep wasting on daydreaming. Do I have to prioritize my activities. Not to mention that I have to create a new schedule as soon as possible. To be honest, have I been doing so many clumsy things lately. Owing to not being focused on what I was doing of course. May it be true that things do not always go your way. Be that as it may, when you rush out of school or wherever you go to right after you have finished as I used to do, you do not realize how much you miss out on. Perhaps is it too late to figure that out. Still and all, now that I am trying out new experiences, I will indeed take that into account. Besides, at some point in our lives we start squalling when we look back at what we have done thus fur and find out most of it was not what we had planned on in the first place. Moreover, one of the things I did not appreciate while living it was the fact that I was surrounded by a lot of people who cared deeply about me. If only I had opened up a little more to them. Notwithstanding, I did try to fit at the start. Of course was I talking about my classmates and some of my teachers. You see, most of the time one takes things for granted. Even so, I know that irrespective of my mistakes, these people still will miss if I actually go through with what I have already decided. Moreover, there is something I must work on now. That is of course my deep-rooted insecurity. For some reason it has grown recently due to some setbacks I had along the way. Be that as it may, nothing justifies the fact that I did not want to pay heed to people´s advice. Thus, I ended up regretting at the last minute for the idiocies I had been doing.  Have I become a lost cause?. Perhaps, but even though I may think everything is lost for me now, who knows what lies in store?. By criticizing myself will I only keep worsening my situation. Although I have to confess that my slovenly habits have actually prejudice my duties a lot. Ergo, should I have to reinvent myself no matter what. Even this morning was it hard for me to wake up at the time I expected. For some reason, I still think about the past too much. It may be true that I had been exhorted by my kin to do staff I did not want to by my kin. However, I still can change and try to make things better. By the way, it seems as though my obsession with words will never die out. I learned a new random word today regarding religion it is transubstantiation, it is a noun and it is the belief that the bread and wine of the Communion service actually become the body and blood of Jesus.

Many tell me that by quitting school I would be making a huge mistake. Still and all, I do not believe that whatsoever. Above all, my health is what be taking into account. Not to mention that I have already been trying to look for new chances. May I have missed to mark to obtain  a college degree. Nonetheless, it was not entirely my fault. Even though procrastination was one of the reasons I wound up this way, most of the circumstances I have gone through lately have not been favorable either. To little avail did I try to carry on without help from a therapist. Indeed, it is crucial for me at this point to sort my ideas out. My present situation might prefigure my undoing. Even so, nothing is certain yet. Perhaps the lucky strike or serendipitous even I was waiting for is lying in store for me. Only do I have to be at the right time at the right place and make the right decision. As I had already mentioned, for some I my last choice of path seems to be merely an escapade. Notwithstanding, do I think I am right in following my gut irrespective of what my kin may think. For once in my life, I believe what I am doing is right and am not just subduing myself to the commands to either my mom or my brother. Thus, my horizons will widen little by little as long as I keep constant in at the most two activities at a time in an organized manner. Even though I may not reach the apotheosis of my career now, at least I know I will be happy. Besides, not only should I be jolly, but also I should preserve my health no matter what. I have had enough of being treated as if I were a little child who has to be flushed out in order to go to school. Moreover, also did I want to bring up the fact that perhaps I had been a little surreptitious not to share my blog with everyone I knew before. Be that as it may, I shared it after all. Hence, it will strengthten my confidence a bit to ask for a medical withdrawal at college. You see, that way I will be able to write even more and to experience new things I had never gotten the chance too. Further, perhaps my actions may not turn heads now. Still and all, do I think I am doing the right thing. By stepping aside from school at least for a while I am sure I will be able to clear my mind and get my feelings of guilt out of my system. Lastly, I would say that I must see this change as a turning point in my life and not as a failure by no means. It may be true that a word to the wise is sufficient. Nonetheless, if that word means you will be doing something that does not appeal to you forever, then there is a problem there.

How to get over regret

Still am I procrastinating. Not to mention that am running out of ideas on what to talk about. Anyhow, it seems to me that it takes me longer to write a decision than I had expected.  Doubts have clouded my mind so much that I seem incapable to confront my problems now. Anyhow, today I went over to another Christian church that was holding a conversation session on space. At least I had a good time there. Moreover, I could finally meet one of the guys whom I had been messaging through Facebook for a while now and had not got the chance to talk to in person yet.

Irrespective of  all the time I let go by, did I get to experience what it is to be part of a social environment that suits me best. For instance, today I leaned words such as ¨terraform¨ which means to make a planet other than the Earth more suitable so as to sustain life. Even though I could enjoy myself a little thus far, can I not forget the fact that I keep disappointing my teachers and friends at school even more. Still and all, as I have said before, the fact that I have been quite sensitive lately has made me the perfect target for some assholes with an unsparing attitude whom do not realize they can hurt a person considerably bad if they act with disregard.

Do I seem to string my issues out more than necessary. However, is it hard me to change. I swear I wish I were a totally different person. Even so, as they say ¨dreaming away stuff does not make it happen¨. Moreover, every time I go overboard with a new project, nothing seems to work out. Perhaps I should switch over to a different mindset. Notwithstanding, for some reason I tend to overthink even that. Indeed my insecurities have hamstrung myself from accomplishing a myriad of goals. Despite the fact that i fight against it, my efforts are so little so as to pay off. To be honest, the only thing I can thank my lucky stars for is the fact that I am still alive. You see, I myself have lowered my self-regard to the point of the extreme. I wish my instincts were to shepherd me to the right direction in life. Be that as it may, it is going to take a lot more to make me improve my social skills.

Trying to keep a stiff upper lip during a situation that you cannot snap out of seems utterly challenging. Boy had I not been receptive before I realized I was wasting my existence away. Nonetheless, will I try to finally unburden myself to the dean or anyone who can help me out. Do I have to be straight-forward about my intentions once and for all. Further, have I been told that I do not need a rundown on how to behave. Nevertheless, it seems as if the more I put off my issues the worst I feel. If only I were more stout-hearted, I would probably had gotten these worries off my chest already. Will I ever learn?. It is up to me to decide. Perhaps I need somebody else´s spunk to rub off on me.

Creed - With Arms Wide Open

It has indeed been a while since the last time I wrote something down. Anyhow, I actually am glad that finally did I get to join a Christian church. Irrespective of what my kin may think about it. I was meaning to join for years so as to learn as much as I could not only about that religion but also about many others. Taking the first step for me has actually been amazing. I am planning on learning as much as I can about religious topics. Besides, do I still have to discipline myself in order to accomplish anything meaningful. Nonetheless, I still am hesitant about whether or not to drop out of school. To be honest, I have drag things out so much that it would be a burden to even try to set things right. Irrespective of the fact that it would take me a while to orient myself in a new studying environment, I am willing to start over. Not to mention, that a fresh start would also help me to overcome my negativeness. In fact, there are many reasons why I should consider quiting. For starters, I have been meaning to partake in a more English speaking oriented environment for a long time. In seems as though, I do not feel motivated about school as I did before. Nonetheless, it is always hard to move from one environment to the other. Am I indeed knocked for six when I think back at all the idiotic mistakes I have made recently. Even so, I know they have been made out of anxiety and not straight thinking. Moreover, even though I have got a lot of support from my friends in class, some inconveniences arose anyway. Such as the fact that at least one of the teachers has been a little hostile towards myself. Be that as it may, I was sick even before that so I would not blame her even though I know her behaviour was disrespectful. Now that I can think about things deeply though, I realize that perhaps I was not meant to be a teacher. There are lots of things I yet have not learn and by remaining in one single place is going to be utterly hard to accomplish my desires. Anyhow, could I keep droning on about my issues. Notwithstanding, I have to get a move on, regardless of the fact that I actually have hit rock  bottom. Further, just as if a mail man were to circulate several letters to the neighborhood, rumours can be spread as fast. Perhaps some may think that to me it would be a terrible idea to leave college. Still and all, I believe that I have to follow my gut, which is telling me that I have to make up for the time I lost when I was talked out of joining a religious organization. Ergo, now that I have got the chance to do so, will I surround myself with the topic as much as I can. Moreover, there is something that tells me that I need a new experience to transfigure my aimless existence. As longs as I act with prudence from here on in. Anyhow, I must take a leave of you all. Will I keep you posted on what I come up with in the foreseeable future.

How to say NO! Communication skills that work

All of recent actions beg the question as to what I am going to do with my life if actually drop out of school. Nonetheless, as I have been told before, I would not be the end of the world if did. By the way, I finally got to go that church I was meaning to attend for years and took as much advantage of it as I could. After all, I feel kind of guilty that I had been absenting myself from school on account of depression. Be that as it may, have I begged off lots of responsibilities I had concur to do. Thus, redeeming myself is not going to be easy. I know I may have promised myself to follow through with my program when I first started out. Even so, I had no idea any of this would have had happened. Not to mention that I could not actually rely on my instincts to pull me through each time I would need to do anything difficult owing to the fact that I had been cloistered by my folks almost my entire life. Ergo, to it is harder than to average person to interact with people on a regular basis. To be honest, this morning I felt relieved after I lastly made it to the church. Ever since I was nineteen I had been thinking on going. Be that as it may, either my brother or my mom would discourage me.  Enough about my excuses though. I am an adult now, and hope to be more responsible from now on. Despite the fact that I thought many times that my popularity waned a lot. My friends let me know that actually they supported me no matter what. Still and all, have I been so blind so as not to seeing the good intention they all had towards me. My English indeed got rusty. Nonetheless, it did not happen due to the fact that I am bad at it, but for I stopped practicing. However way I think about the aforesaid statement, it is indeed true that I was actually sloppy in my duties. Although, I have to accept that I was in fact sick and that I could not think straight. Irrespective of the fact that I may have assignments or test due at ant time in the present, I just do not show the same enthusiasm I used to show before. What is more, I think I should be more straightforward with people and tell them how I really feel. Irrespective of what their reactions might be, my health is more important than them.  Did I not want to see my reality and herein lies the crux of my problems. Apart from that I know that perhaps in past I may have subdue myself to let my officious kin boss me around. Still and all, what they did not know that they were making me miss out on a lot of new chances. Bringing up the rear, I would say that people can in fact enjoin you to do whatever they want. Notwithstanding, at the end of the day your life is the one that is going to end up screwed and not theirs. Therefore learning to say no at an early age would have made me a better person. Anyhow, thinking about the past will only keep embittering myself. Hence, I must man up and show up at school to explain my situation and make up my mind regardless of how shameful I may feel. Never think about the loss of face you could fall into due depression as something negative. Remember that sometimes you are not yourself when you get down in the dumps.

Can People Change? DECIDE Who You Want To Be Right Now

I cannot change the past as much as I would like it to happen. Nonetheless, I still can make decisions that will switch my life around for a change. Not exactly do I have to make a bucket list, even though I feel as if I might perish sooner than I thought. Besides, I know that upcoming problems can be forestalled by starting to take action. Be that as it may, my confidence is something I am trying to regain. Irrespective of the fact that my options have tapered off, I still think I can at least try to keep my cool and stop assaying my situation. Despite the fact that it will not be easy for me to feel better with myself after all of the mistakes I have made, I still can find some internal peace by trying to commune with nature and pray a little. In the face of the fear I may be feeling right now, I must carry on and make up my mind on the spot. Moreover, I cannot let my fears detract me from the joy I can get out of doing the things I like the most. Perhaps I have always had the inalienable right to decide my own future. Still and all, I have always let others boss me around. Ergo, it is time for me to decide what is best. Otherwise, it may be too late tomorrow. Not to mention that I have procrastinated enough already. You see, have I been dilatory in deciding to do things such as applying for jobs or whatnot on account of my shyness. However, it is time to snap out of my folly behaviour and do something. Further, I do not think I will be able to be haughty enough so as to disdain others anymore. May my mind be overrun by negative thoughts now. Be that as it may, I have had enough of it.  Furthermore, I should not keep pulling back from doing things that would benefit me out of fear for the rest of my life. In so far as I know, it will not be enough to remain abeyant. I must proceed with my life regardless of what I have done thus far. Everyone tried to drag me out of the brink of depression. Even so, I did not listen. Anyway, not to be in suspense for  me is something that is actually not normal. Thus, the need for me to do something meaningful once and for all. In my dreams I could indeed suspend disbelief. However. in reality, I must deal with the mess I have caused. My matchless skill to do things wrong can only go so far. Bringing up the rear, I would say that tomorrow I will find out whether or not I will end up being an apostate or not by attending the church I had been longing to visit for years. It is going to be a good way to leave doubts behind. What is more, I may finally be able to get those feelings of curiosity off my chest.

How to Stop Procrastinating

One more year has gone by in which I do not go to a Halloween party, nor did I join that religion I was talking about the other day. It seems as if I never plan the stuff I am going to do in the future. We all know that only your actions are the ones that provoke results. Nonetheless I have not been following the aforesaid line myself. By pulling out of my responsibilities and being afraid have I only aggravate my situation. Despite the fact that I have always been sort of tongue-tied to be honest, at least I had a drive to carry on before. Nonetheless, it seems as if that drive is long gone. I unfortunately adhered to the idea that I my English was not good enough and so I stopped looking for opportunities and trying to progress. I mean, even my mom has interceded on behalf of myself with the dean of my school so as to help me out. Nonetheless, some of the things I have experienced have depressed me to the point of not being able to think straight. Not to mention that I had been storing up my worries for so long before I started having nervous breakdowns. I realize now that I had saturated myself with negative thoughts. Thus, did I started to get sicker and sicker. Besides, it is a penance to do something only out of obligation. Ergo, perhaps going to a school in which most of the courses are in Spanish was not such a good idea for me after all, Nonetheless, it is also true that I lost several chances to go to conferences and whatnot due to my negativeness.  Hence, I have dashed my own hopes by behaving the way I have. If only I could rewind my life and wise up. The latter is possible though. Who has not wished for something miraculous to happen? Well I am one of them right now. Moreover, the fact that I have made an inordinate amount of mistakes makes me try to forget them. Irrespective of what has happened to me thus far I still think I can make up my mind and try to man up for a change. It all comes down to being honest with myself and the ones who surround me. Perhaps my family steered me to the wrong path in the past. Still and all, ever since I became an adult it has been my responsibility to face up to my actions. Therefore, even though I may not have done the best job taking care of myself, I at least made some decisions. Should start setting up an schedule and some plans if I ever want to snap out of this depression for real. Either that or I can start thinking on scrubbing down floors for a living. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Still and all, the problem with me is that I think too much about things and never start doing anything. Regardless of all the support from friends I got, I backslided into having a negative attitude.  Perhaps I was seeing pink elephants when I though that my dreams were going to come true was because I wanted them to . Notwithstanding it comforts me to keep dreaming stuff away sometimes. All in all, I hope I can finally decide wisely for once in my life and stop trying to hide from my problems. By the way it is axiomatic to say that only way in which my doubts can fall away is if I actually start making things happen. I just wanted to say that last remark and I will be making a list  of the things I have not got the chance to do yet before my birthday which falls on Wednesday.

How to Be Happy - Secrets to Happiness

Am I already regretting the fact that I have shirked my duties. However, I do not do a thing to solve them either. I mean I have founded a way around the rules by avoiding class. To be honest, I have no idea why I have not listened to a single piece of advice I have been given at all. How could my plans ever have materialized if I do not lift a finger to accomplish them?  I just hope not have exhausted all my chances. Moreover, I cannot find a reason for me behaving this way. Not to mention, now I have not the foggiest idea what to do next. Fear steals over my body. That is on account of the fact that I feel guilty for not having been responsible whatsoever. People may think anything has a solution. Nonetheless, I for one think my situation. Moreover, I could not be more muddle-headed right now.

Not to mention that I do not realize how much I am missing out on. Lots of people have tried to help me out. Be that as it may, far from thinking straight and  remaining hard-headed, I have been stubborn enough so as not to apply the advice I had been given. Not only was I being self-willed, but also I was hurting myself by cloistering inside my room. Am I the kind of person who gives out advice to people but do not do any of the things I suggest at all.  I mean if I were to stop and think for moment about the stuff that I do before actually doing it, I perhaps would not be on this situation. Do I realize now I gave up so easily without a fight. Even so, I will keep attending the classes I think will be convenient for me to attend. Besides, I have to act before it is to late.  Dreaming about making a run at being successful is one thing; accomplishing though is something totally different. Irrespective of what I have done so far, I should keep living not for me, but for my family.  Being extremely shy and a little self-willed has stopped me from achieving so much. However, it does not hurt to be happy. Ergo, I will try to be that way despite all I have done. Regaining my confidence will not be an easy task. Still and all, if I do not start now, it maybe too hard tomorrow.  How easy it is to saunter down the street and try to look for a friend or whatnot. Negative thoughts are a dangerous thing. Bringing up the rear, I will end this writing by encouraging you to do what I never did during my life- time... believe in yourself.

Still have I been doing idiocies. Nonetheless, at least know do I realize the gravity of my actions. All my progress has been blighted by insecurities. Besides, since this platfrom is the only means by which I voice my thoughts, I get really anxious for not actually talking to people. What is the point of having a flair for language is I do not open my mouth?. Anyhow, I know now that at no point in the foreseeable future will I end up intoxicated by success. In fact, on account of the recent mistakes I have made, I even doubt I am going to be able to stay at school much longer. Straight from the shoulder, I have let my depression hold me back. Despite this, I still am willing to at least try. A new vista opening up for me seems impossible. I mean, if I were to add up the number of times I have avoided school plus the amount of times I have flounces out of class, I would be crazy by now. To think that just a few months ago, I would be coruscating with delight. Notwithstanding now I spend most of the time pinpointing my past errors. Instead of trying to change, I keep trying to get a fix on why I behaved as I did. Ergo, in lieu is watching my life go by in dejection, I must stop thinking. My own action have diluted my confidence. Paying scant attention to your own future can bring you detrimental consequences.Wagging my head at my own actions will only make me waste even more time. How much would I wish to be the kind of person who does things straight out. Be that as it may, I still have a long way to go. With that, a lot of work has to be done by me if I even want progress. Moreover, I feel as if there is only a husk lest of my former self. Sweeping away my fears will not be easy. However if I keep lazying around they will get stronger. Lost of flimsy excuses I could give for my recent misbehavior. Still and all, I cannot hide the fact that now I am paying my dues. Further, the only thing left for me to do is to dissipate my own anger and move on. Why should I be mad at myself for romping around in my dreams and not living my actual life? It pains me to realize know how much time I have squandered. Not only do I have to learn how to compose myself, but also to be more responsible. I have fallen behind at school so badly that I do not know what to do to remedy my situation. How am I supposed to become the anchor of my kin at some point in the future if I do not even have the courage to face up to my responsibilities? For years I had been balked of my freedom. Even so, I do not how to use it now that I have it. My actions should home in on my goals. Notwithstanding, that is not the case. Not that I should be more audacious, but indeed less foolish. All in all, have I ruined my reputation. Thus, I must do something to wind up being more of a comedian and diligent student. Let us just hope that this time I am able to walk the walk instead of only talking the talk. My fate relies on the verisimilitude of the aforesaid words.

To be honest, I thought I was not going to write down a single word anymore. For I have sinned deeply towards myself.  At some point did I optimize my talent for languages, but only at a tiny extent. You see since I have never been that social, I have had a lot of trouble practicing my English.

Not to mention that now more than ever, it is impossible for me to wipe out the past. Owing to the fact that I had been laying up problems for myself. Of course I perfectly do realize the consequences of my absences to school. Nonetheless, that did not prevent me from doing wrong. On account of this, I came across the following religious quote: Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother´s eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye. Intermittently do I begin to understand that I was in fact behaving that way. Overcoming depression encompasses a lot of will power. Notwithstanding, I was prolonging it as much as I could. Neither had I exhausted all the possibilities to improve my health. People have had enough of me playing victim. Have I had enough times to take the reins of my life. Nonetheless, I feel as if a demon had extruded my confidence right out of my soul. Until when should I remain this way? Do I want to keep making myself gaunt? Do I really want to get winded next time I jog? If I ever? Going back to what I said earlier, how do I expect to advance my English knowledge if I don´t even show up at class? Should I part company with my silliness once in for all. What is more, I should stop scrutinizing my past. Moreover, I have to learn not to make my problems intractable. Do I really wish there was a panacea to solve all my problems. Such as a genie granting me time travel to the past so as to correct all my mistakes. As impractical as the aforesaid statement might sound, it is worth to believe for me if it is going to keep me alive. Neither do I know whether or not there is ever going to be a way to accomplish time travel nor do I know if there is a god. Even so, It is not as if there were a dearth of options for me to progress. Anyhow if I do not want to end up having a single more regret as I get on in years, should I start getting myself into gear and stop looking back. For how much longer should I behave as if I were long in the tooth for?

Intermittently, do I realize I had been wrong in thinking that problems cannot be solve. Provided that I had started acting upon my tasks, would I have solved my situation already. Should I not exactly crusade against what I believe to be wrong all the time. Nonetheless, it would help for me to be more assertive so as not to fall in the error of being a high-strung individual. Besides, tautening your mind with worries is not a good idea. Is it so hard for me to wipe the slate clean with my past and move on. Perhaps by becoming more charismatic with my peers, could I little by little forget about the past. You see, it is easy for me to relay information to people on a written form. Nonetheless, since I have become more cloistered than ever, it is even harder for me to assert myself. However, by flaying myself all the time, I only worsen my health. If I want to make a passable performance at school, I should be more active and less truculent. Even though I am not that way, I tend to sometimes misbehave out of frustration towards my parents. Might it be the core of my suffering that I cannot stomach having moved out once more? Everyone knows that issues accrue when you procrastinate the way I have so far. Anyway, I could apportion the blame for my current health state to my kin. Notwithstanding, would I not accomplish much by doing so. I will be signing off for now, with the hopes of whipping my depression and send it out of commission.

Self Esteem - Understanding & Fixing Low Self-Esteem

My alacrity for life seems to have abandoned me. Despite the fact I hitherto have relinquished my dreams due to accepting what my kin told me to do, there still might be a way for me to escape from this situation. Have I given my undivided attention to learning that it seems unfair to me that not a single person was willing to help me out at the time that I needed it the most. To be more specific regarding jobs mostly. Even though I had been magnanimous until now with those who ruined my existence, I am not going to accept any more humiliations. What is the point of being an assiduous student if none of the efforts you made paid off in the end?. Perhaps I should have tried harder. Then again fair has always hindered my progress. I believe my low self-regard has been the reason for all my failures. Still and all, I will try to overcome this life-long curse even if it takes me forever.It dumbfounds me to realize how much time I have wasted and where I am now. Besides, as hard as it may to be to find an answer to my worries, I had better hustle up. At this point it impossible to undo the pain I have endured hitherto. Notwithstanding, I can try my best to forget. Considering the fact that my health is on the line. Anyhow, I just hope this writing is not full of contrivances. Moreover, if I simmer down I must be able to pull off  writing this post as natural as possible. By the way, back to my story, I only have left to say that my time is running out and I do not have anybody to pass the buck to. Therefore, can I not discount any chance of recovery. Too much inertia can lead to overkill. Thus, I should throw off this feeling as soon as possible. Not to mention I might as well fall short of opportunities if I do not hurry. Lastly, I would say that irrespective of the fact that most of the people I have encountered in the past have been callous, I should concentrate on the few people that I have met who have not been that way.

Overcoming Insecurity and Self-Doubt

Sometimes people think one joins a religion just because they have let missionaries proselytize them into their creed. Still and all, only a few who are smarter than average understand the need to join any kind of religion. Being part of a religious organization not only can help those with low self-esteem who struggle in life, but also those who want to sate their desire to learn a little a bit about everything, such as myself. Of course my kin never understood any of those reasons. Besides, did I have to entreat them to understand my position.

Even though their realization that I was in fact right was belated, I am glad that at least they now get it. Moreover, may I be close to being an antipode to the average 21 year old. Notwithstanding, it is owing to the fact that I grew up in a sheltered environment I guess. Be that as it may, I am old enough to call the shots now. Am I just waiting to fully recover from this depression and get back on track.

As much as I am desirous to get into a time machine and do over all the idiocies I have done so far, I now that is humanly impossible. Thus, my need to start doing things right from now on. Unwonted decisions due to anxiety can lead you to bad results. However, my passion for learning has not betrayed me. Ever since my late adolescence, I have tried to get hold of as many chunks of knowledge from here and there I could have gathered. Nonetheless, I still believe I could have sprung a surprise by becoming a young prolific bilingual writer had I made different decisions. Not that I cannot become one now. Even so, it would be a lot harder to accomplish it for me considering what I have been doing lately.

Not only would I have to rep up, but I would also have to make frequent mental exertions to achieve my ultimate goal. Besides, even  if I were lucky enough to finally get where I want to, I still would be haunted by my regrets of untimely learning. Hence, they are something I will have to live with anyway. Moreover, no contrivance is going to help me reach my goals quicker. However old I am now is still early enough to accomplish them. Despite the fact that I myself do not believe the aforesaid words, they are still true. It seems as though nothing will subvert my beliefs, as impolitic as some of them may be considered.

How to Start All Over Again Pastor Greg Laurie

How to Start All Over Again Pastor Greg Laurie

Perhaps if I knew how to turn my situation around I would be fine. Even so, to be honest after I absented myself two more days it is in fact too late to think in a comeback. Even if I new the content of each course inside-out I still would be out. Ergo, I must face up to my responsibilities and see what I can do from now on. I cannot afford to keep behaving as if I were a puerile boy.

Besides, it is indeed fallacious to think that I can magically undo the mistakes I have made thus far. Was the reason for my apparent undoing my inane thinking? Well, I would say that it was in lieu the fact I let my emotions control me. Moreover, it is not that I relied on unsound methods to accomplish my goals, it is just that I did not do enough. May I have been a good student who occasionally used to get some gigs.

Still and all, I actually never got to have a stable job, nor was I in a stable relationship. Thus, even though I am about to turn 22, I have not only disappointed myself, but also every one else quite badly. Irrespective of what I had accomplished in the past, I let my depression get the best out of me. Not to mention that I wasted so much time feeling sorry for myself. It seems ludicrous to think that a person such as me who claims to love English would throw away perhaps the only opportunity he had to become an English teacher. Nonetheless, there is no reason for someone who gets overwhelmed by his fears.
 

The unholy effects that can be caused when your emotions have the upper hand are countless. May have screwed the chance to remain in school. Notwithstanding, it does mean I should wind up like a lumbering idiot. The finality of my recent decisions falls on me. Can I no longer let my insecurities trample me and pray for a new chance to come along.
 

PS.  I  have not forgotten about the post about Christianity, I will soon write it down.

At this point, I have no idea what to do. The easiest option that comes to mind is to relent. Nonetheless, many tell me I still might have a chance. Even though my tacit expression of disappointment says it all. Worries torment me quite often. Is there any particular reason for my mind to keep straying back to my past failures?. Of course the best remedy they say is to keep your  mind busy. Still and all, I find it tough to continue.

Despite the fact that I had not been browbeaten into going to school, I think I should have been though. Besides, there is no need for me to expound on the topic of my health. Since I have been talking about the same thing for a long time now, there is not much more to say. Regarding the progress of Lima, it is in fact changing for better. However, its progress is slower than in a developed city. Anyhow, I may not believe in kismet. Nonetheless, I see mine already predicted. The way I feel now is in stark contrast to the way I felt before.
 

In fact I am wobbling over what to do now. Do I want to come up with a snappy remark to wrap this up. Might I not be in contention for winning anything right now. Notwithstanding, someday I would like not only to take part in, but also to win a singing contest. Anyhow, even in my worst times, do I still try to be a bit grandiloquent.

By the way, in the next post I will be talking about a debate that arose some time ago regarding  the credibility of Christianity. Back to my situation, will some elbow grease and a few sick notes save me? Well, if not there will not be another way out for me. Everyone knows that things are achieved over the long haul; the problem is that I never kept up working for those things...

Secrets Of Productivity - How To Stop Laziness And Procrastination

The deleterious effects  of stress could catch up with me. Was I indeed an up and coming individual before I messed up. Thus, I have to deal with a hard nut to crack.  Not to mention that it is hard for me to come up with any sort of snappy remark at this point. My tenuous hopes are the only thing that keep me breathing.

To be honest, it would have been a lot easier to write this if I had had a few notes ready so as kind of cobble together this post. Besides, I subscribe to the idea that it is a lot more productive to write when you are not lying down. No contention whatsoever would arise the counter the aforesaid statement. On the other hand, am I still hung-up over the fact that I have been short-changed by some employees despite my all my hard work and constant studying.

My conscience smites me each time I start thinking about staff. However, bashing yourself over what is already over is not wise whatsoever. Still do I not know how to ramp up my spirits. Not that I am a skittish folk. Still and all, my weak character gets crushed quite often by shoddy treatment. Despite the fact that my character has not always exactly been like this. My work may be a tribute to my skills.

Nonetheless, what is the point if I do not get paid for it?. I do not know if what is happening to me now will portend even more crap coming up. I hope my imagination is just playing tricks on me. Lastly, I wish sometime soon my now raspy voice can utter a victory. Any kind not to wanting to make bones about it. Even if it is not related to my main goals. I would just subsume it to my list of few times of happiness.